


You shall not take the Hobbits to Isengard

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Series: Taking the Hobbits to Isengard [3]
Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Gen, Humor, makes no sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 02:32:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16714897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: The Uruks' plan of taking the hobbits to Isengard does not go very well. Pure crack fic! Part 3 of 'Taking the Hobbits to Isengard' series.





	You shall not take the Hobbits to Isengard

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings or anything else you may recognize
> 
> So this is the third part of 'Taking the Hobbits to Isengard.' I hope you like it.

Merry and Pippin were running for their lives. Just a few seconds ago, they had done something that was incredibly heroic and stupid at the same time.

They had distracted the Uruks from Frodo and made them come after them. It had worked. But now they were regretting it for obvious reasons.

They kept running, trying to outrun their chasers. But they were not expecting some Uruks running at them from the direction towards which they were running.

They froze in horror as a Uruk with an axe rushed them. They just stood, waiting for the end as the Uruk brought its axe down on them.

But a sword came out of nowhere and blocked it. The owner of the sword kneed the Uruk between the legs, making him drop to the ground as the man snatched his axe and used it to split open his helmet, soon followed by his skull.

He was Boromir, son of the Steward of Gondor. He was one of the nine companions of the Fellowship of the Ring. Just a few minutes ago, he had broken an honorable oath he had taken by trying to take the Ring from Frodo Baggins, whom he had sworn to protect.

After recovering from his fit, he had wept out of shame and guilt. And now, he was going to protect Merry and Pippin from the Uruks to redeem himself.

The two hobbits stabbed two Uruks who failed to spot them due to their size. Boromir threw a knife which hit a Uruk on the neck, killing him.

He then fought valiantly, defending he two hobbits from the savages. But he knew he would be overwhelmed. So he took out the Horn of Gondor, which had been made out of the horn of the wild ox of the East. Legend said that when blown within the bounds of Gondor, its call for aid wouldn't go unanswered.

And so Boromir blew it loudly, hoping one of the Fellowship would hear. A Uruk leapt at him but he avoided. He then blew the horn again, hoping it would attract more than just the ones attacking him.

Another Uruk attacked but he blocked and cut off the hand of this cross between orcs and goblin-men. As the Uruk fell down due to pain, Boromir stabbed him in the heart, killing him.

Another rushed them but Merry and Pippin leapt at him, pinning him to the ground. Boromir sliced the feet of another Uruk before stabbing him in the chest while Merry and Pippin stabbed the one they had pinned down.

As more arrived, Boromir yelled desperately to his Halfling friends, "Run! Run!"

They complied as Boromir blocked another Uruk's strike before stabbing him in the stomach, killing him. Merry and Pippin, in an attempt to aid their friend, picked up rocks and threw it at the Uruks. Being hobbits, they were good throwers.

Their aims hit true and the Uruks staggered on being hit by the rocks. Boromir sliced the throats of two Uruks simultaneously.

He did not notice that their commander, Lurtz, was observing him from a distance, preparing to strike. Boromir sliced down another Uruk when Lurtz notched and arrow. As he dueled another, Lurtz was about to fire when an unnatural white light blinded all the Uruks, making them groan in pain and discomfort.

An old man with long white beard and hair, dressed all in white, carrying a sword and a white staff, stood there. There was a deathly glare in his eye. He was Gandalf the White, formerly Gandalf the Grey.

In an amplified voice resembling that of a prophet, he declared, "YOU SHALL NOT TAKE THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD!"

And then he slammed the staff on the ground. The impact caused a shockwave which sent all the Uruks flying off, including Lurtz whose arrow flew off into a random direction.

The internal organs of the ones closest to Gandalf burst due to the power.

"And now, my friends", Gandalf said to Merry, Pippin and Boromir, "This is our chance."

And then they all dispatched the downed Uruks. Boromir himself stabbed Lurtz.

* * *

Later- Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Merry and Pippin stood near the Anduin river.

"So are we not going to follow Frodo and Sam?" Legolas asked.

"No", Gandalf said.

"Because their fate is no longer in our hands", Aragorn said.

"We may have foiled Saruman's plan of taking the hobbits to Isengard", Gandalf said, "But the mind of the king of Rohan has been overthrown by him. That is our next destination."

And with that, they all left for Edoras.

"We really have to run a lot", Pippin grumbled.

"It's still better than being held captive by Uruks", Merry pointed out, "And at least they are not taking us to Isengard."

**Author's Note:**

> So this one is done too. Not funny, except the Gandalf part, but I will make the next one better.
> 
> If you don't remember, in this series, Gandalf survived the fight against the Balrog but still became Gandalf the White.
> 
> Please review. I always appreciate your feedback.


End file.
